Yesterday while wandering through the Bloomingdales mall waiting for Joel to finish his dental appointment and meet me for lunch I had the opportunity to stare in horror at pretty much every display window of every store.
I now deeply believe this needs to be said to the fashion industry:
You cannot make me BUY formal shorts and you certainly cannot make me WEAR formal shorts. Not only can you not make me wear them but you most certainly cannot make me wear them with a sleeveless turquoise blouse with gathering along every seam and gold lame 3 inch spike sandals. And I am not even going to start on the plastic bead necklaces.
You can make formal shorts in linen. You can make them in polka-dotted satin (and you have) you can pair them with sequined chemise tank tops and scrunchy boots or puffy jackets and knee socks. I am not wearing them. No one I know is wearing them. Even the mannequins look embarrassed and the guy manikins standing next to them (who are not wearing any deranged guy equivalent) look like they have no idea how they got stuck next to the girl wearing the crazy.
I am talking to you BEBE and ANN TAYLOR and ANNE KLEIN and BCBG and GUESS and DKNY. Stop it. I am tired of buying all my clothing from American Eagle Outfitters online. And also I want new boots but I hate wedge heels so knock that crap off too.
I’m asking nicely. Please don't make me organize. I already know the GO FUG YOURSELF girls are with me on this.
