I was at Trump's inauguration dinner (probably not a real thing) and they were offering two kinds of soup and one was butternut squash, which I don't like, so I decided to take a flyer on the other one and they brought it to the table in a big clear glass bowl with a grate over it with a hole where you could slide your spoon in and things were MOVING in it so I looked closer and there were little PEOPLE about two inches long SWIMMING in it!!
I carefully scooped a tiny woman in a red dress and long brown hair into the small space between the soup and the grate where there was air and she started SCREAMING at me, "Help me, get me out of here, I'm drowning, you have to get me out" when a security guard slammed his fist within half an inch of my face causing me to drop my spoon. I looked up at him and said, "there are tiny PEOPLE in there!!! And he said, "Ma'am, if you do not stop upsetting the soup, I will be forced to escort you out" and waved a gun at me.
And then Melania walked by and said, "You cannot save soup, let us go look at all my presents."
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